A Patrick Duffy Christmas
by time4moxie
Summary: I really have no idea what this is about. It's a light bit of KarenPam slash with a twist, mixed in with the spirit of Christmas..Bonus points to you if you figure out what the hell the title means.
1. Chapter 1

Jim finished his last lap and pulled himself up out of the pool. Shaking the water out of his ears he could hear Pam and Karen laughing from the hot tub. He still felt a little weird over how things had turned out, but he had to admit he was having a nice time so far. 

Karen's great aunt had died a few months ago, and she discovered last week that she had inherited a plush getaway cottage in upstate New York. Not only was it an expensive little place with multiple fireplaces, a huge kitchen and plenty of expensive furniture, but the property included an indoor pool, a hot tub and a sauna in the attached conservatory. Karen's first reaction was to head on up there for an extended weekend and just relax before Christmas arrived.

Naturally he wasn't surprised when Karen invited him to come along. They had been dating for a few weeks now, and she always tried to find time for them to be together. He was glad he had asked her to keep their relationship a secret in the office; if nothing else it kept her from being perched at his desk all day long. He did really like Karen, but he couldn't help but feel she was just a little too touchy-feely for his liking, just a little too clingy. Or at least that's what he told himself. He didn't stop to examine the contradiction of how late at night in his bed alone, all he wanted was to be touched everywhere by another woman, someone, who by the light of day, he claimed to be over and done with romantically. It was just easier to compartmentalize his feelings about Karen, and his feelings about Pam, and then put a heavy lock on the box with Pam in it. What he really didn't like to think about was the fact that Pam herself had the key to that lock.

How Pam got invited along was still something of a mystery to him. He saw that Karen and Pam seemed to hit it off immediately, and it had always been a source of slight consternation to him. He had never quite gotten around to telling Karen about Pam, because he just didn't know what to tell her. Lies that they had just been friends did not roll off his tongue as easily as he would have liked, and he was still in such confusion about how he really felt about Pam that he knew saying anything regarding their history would probably start a conversation he was in no way ready to have. So he said nothing about her, careful not to say Pam's name too often in conversation, and focused on just staying polite to Pam when Karen was around. Pam had soon figured out what the rest of the office was blind to - that is, Jim and Karen's relationship, and Jim banked on Pam's reticence about sharing her emotions with anyone being enough to keep her from telling Karen about their history. At least that's the plan he was going with.

However, Karen did talk a lot about Pam when she was with Jim, and Jim could see that Karen was really starting to like her. He thought that Karen would be a little too sophisticated to appreciate Pam's style, but that seemed not to be the case. Karen talked about how funny Pam was, and how nice it was to have a friend so pleasant and pretty, and clearly confident enough not to feel the need to compete with everyone in the office. So when Karen decided to head up to New York for the weekend, she asked Pam to come along as well. She told Jim that Pam mentioned that she hadn't had a vacation in forever, and her salary as a receptionist paid for art school and that was about it.

"It's time that girl had a little fun," Karen said.

So there Jim was, standing up next to the pool. He grabbed a towel and ran it through his hair, it falling in a chaotic mess of spikes and half-curls, making him look even more boyish than he was. His dark blue and white swim trunks had made Karen frown, as she'd hoped he would have worn something a little sexier to lie around the pool in. But her suggestion of speedos was immediately rejected, and he stuck firmly with his old trusty surf-style trunks. He had caught a quick moment of Pam gazing at him when he first walked out, and the look he saw in her eyes told him she was more than happy with how he looked. For some reason that pleased him more than any reaction Karen could have had.  
He walked over to the hot tub, and saw the women sitting close together, still laughing over something.  
"What's so funny?" He grinned, climbing into the steaming water. He sat across from the two of them, feeling more than a little lucky to be in such a situation.

Karen held up a flute of yellowish bubbly liquid. "Well, we found out they kept a chilled supply of champagne right next to the hot tub," she smiled, "Want some?"

"Sure," he replied, sliding around next to Pam. He reached over and took a full glass out of Karen's hand. The cool liquid going down his throat was a nice contrast to the hot water bubbling around him. He didn't think it was going to take much champagne to make him feel as giddy as those two were acting.

Karen took a big sip of champagne, and urged Pam to finish off her glass. When she did Karen put both glasses down behind them. "Now that Jim's here, I think we need to level the playing field," Karen said.

Jim raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

Pam smiled at him. "We were talking earlier about how unfair it is that men can go walking around without a shirt but women always seem to need to wear something."

"So," Karen continued, "Pam and I have decided that we are going to dress exactly the way you do. So since you are just wearing swim trunks, we will forfeit our bikini tops." And with those words Karen untied the strap around her neck and let it fall down. She turned her back to Pam and Pam untied the back string. Karen grabbed the now loose halter top and flung it over the side of the hot tub. The water bubbled up at just about Karen's breast level, but Jim could easily see her small, firm breasts and the darkness of her areolas from where he was sitting. He smiled somewhat, more amused than turned on at the moment. Then he watched as Pam undid the neck hook of her halter and turned toward him so Karen could undo the back of it.

Jim's eyes met Pam's and he felt partly paralyzed as he saw her pull her halter off and throw it over his shoulder and onto the sandstone tile of the conservatory. Now he was feeling aroused. This was not the Pam he knew. He watched her lean back against the back of the hot tub and sigh, as Karen moved closer and put her arm around Pam's shoulders as a symbol of unity. Pam was certainly more well endowed than Karen was, and as a result the lower half of her breasts were concealed by the foam and bubbles swirling around them.

Pam noticed he was trying very hard not to look down. "Go on, Halpert," she teased him. "You can look if you want to. And I know you've wanted to for a long time."

He ignored her taunting but took her advice. Her nipples were a little larger than Karen's, and much pinker, especially because of the hot water. He wanted nothing more than to touch her right now, even with Karen sitting right there, and he blamed it on the quick effects of that single glass of champagne.

Then as if Karen could read his mind, she smiled and leaned over, caressing Pam's left breast with her hand. "Amazing, isn't she? Karen asked, continuing to touch her while Pam closed her eyes and seemed to enjoy it. "I told you how beautiful this girl was, Jim. I can't believe you never told me about Pam when we were in Stamford."

"We've never been in this kind of situation," he stumbled, "I mean, Pam and I never - "

"You just didn't try hard enough," Karen said. "She would have if you'd asked." Then he watched as Karen turned and kissed Pam, who responded by bringing her arms around Karen and pulling her onto her lap. Jim sat there silently, watching in disbelief as the two women in his life seemed to need no part of him to make themselves happy.

Finally Pam pulled away from Karen and looked at Jim. "Join us," she said softly, extending her hand to him. Unable to believe what he's seen, he still reacted to his intense desire and pulled her toward him. He kissed her hard on the lips, pressing her naked breasts to his chest. He felt a bit dizzy, but she tasted so good. He felt this urge to possess her completely.

Karen slid over to them. "Hey, don't forget to share," she whispered in Pam's ear, and began to stroke her back. Jim's hip was pressed against Pam's stomach, so he felt it when Karen pulled down Pam's swimsuit bottoms. Soon Karen has wiggled out of hers as well, and puts them on the ledge. Then he feels Karen's hand brush past his leg on her way to Pam's belly. Karen spooned behind Pam and placed her hand deep between Pam's thighs. Jim was a bit taken aback when Pam started to arch against Karen's hand and he released her from his kiss. He felt hurt that Pam wasn't focusing completely on him.

"Is this what you want? To be with Karen?" he asks her. "This doesn't seem like you at all, Pam."

She opens her eyes at looks at him. "I've evolved, Jim," she replied. "I've evolved, just like you have."

"This isn't what I'd meant," he replied.

"No? I thought you made it pretty clear you didn't want me anymore. Why should you care who I want now?"

"I didn't say I didn't want you anymore," Jim replied, feeling slightly panicked. "I was still hurt from before, and I was afraid to be near you."

"And now?"

"I'm not so afraid anymore."

"It is because you really want me, or because you are afraid you can't have me now? Maybe I'm just attractive when I'm out of reach to you."

"No!" he said, nearly shouting. "I want you, Pam."

"More than Karen?" she asked. "Who do you want, Jim? Me or Karen?"

Karen, who up to that point was focused on touching and kissing Pam, finally spoke. "I know I prefer Pam."

Jim was completely confused. Pam was making him chose between Karen and her, and yet at the same time it seemed like Karen had chosen Pam over him. This was making no sense.

"You, Pam," he finally replied, feeling like he was on the edge of nervous breakdown. "It's always been you. It always will be you."

Suddenly a sharp bellowing sound was heard, like the sound of an air siren or tornado alarm. Jim brought his hands up to his ears to drown out the sounds, but saw that Pam and Karen didn't even seem to notice it.

Pam was saying something to him, but he couldn't hear her over the shrill noise. He started to feel dizzy again, and wondered what in the hell was going on.


	2. Chapter 2

The obnoxious sound continued, and it took Jim a minute to realize that it was his alarm clock. He shut it off with an irritated slam, and threw himself back on his bed. His heart was racing, and it slowly dawned on him that it had all been a dream. The weekend getaway, the hot tub, Karen and Pam both naked in front of him, all of it just part of one long, crazy dream. The only thing real was his incredible hard on. 

He closed his eyes, willing himself to go back and finish his dream. Finish it his way. He gripped his erection tightly and began to stroke himself as he brought back images of being in the hot tub. This time he was alone with just one woman, and she was focusing all her attention on him. For a few minutes he could pretend it was her hand that rubbed him, her voice in his ear, her lips pressed hot against his. He imagined his mouth on her full breasts, her pink nipples against his tongue and moaned her name as he came.

He laid there in silence for quite some time, wondering as his senses returned to normal how much longer he was going to be able to continue this facade. In his dreams even Karen wanted Pam. How much clearer was his subconscious trying to make it?

He got up and went into the shower, standing under the hot water until he felt completely poached. He knew he was going to be late to work, but he just didn't care. It was the day of the Christmas party and he had nothing he felt like celebrating. He still hadn't bought a gift for Karen, although he knew he would have to as she'd already been teasing him with hints about what she bought for him. He felt guilty that he'd actually spent more time thinking of something to get Pam than to get the girl who was technically his girlfriend. In the end he hadn't purchased anything for anyone except his mother yet. He guessed he'd probably get Karen some CD set, but he didn't know what - if anything - he should get for Pam. His heart on a string was an appropriate choice, but it wasn't easy to wrap.

He thought back to the last Christmas party. How full of hope he had been last year. It was before the Booze Cruise, before Roy and his damn setting-the-date announcement, and so far before he'd break down in front of her and lose it all. And yet here he was, another Christmas and still she was the only one he really wanted. He wondered how depressing next Christmas was going to be. When he got into work, Pam was talking on the phone. She flashed him a brilliant and genuine smile and he remembered how Dream Karen had said how beautiful she was. She was wearing a new red turtleneck, and it clung to her curves in a way he'd never seen before. He felt himself flush, thinking of her naked with him in the hot tub, and sat down with merely a nod in her direction. How he was going to get through the day with her looking that lovely wasn't something he was capable of handling.

As things worked out, Jim spent most of the afternoon in Benihana's with a downcast Michael, who had just been dumped by Carol, and the ever-competing Dwight and Andy. He'd received a few phone calls from Karen, telling him how she had been kicked off the planning committee and now she and Pam were planning their own office party. She warned him there would be alcohol and karaoke, and suggested they continue the party at her house afterwards. He knew his reply was more noncommittal than she wanted, but he couldn't get Pam and her red turtleneck out of his mind. He couldn't get that dream out of his mind. And knowing that while he was sitting there in Benihana's in one of his many versions of private hell, the two women he wanted most to keep apart were actually becoming friends? Well, it made him nervous as hell.

Jim received one text message from Pam that afternoon. Angela has turned the Nutcracker into the Nuthouse, she wrote. I've been banned from the PPC. Yay! Her simple message made him smile more than all of Karen's phone calls.

When the guys finally made it back to the office, the Christmas party held by Pam and Karen had already begun. A punch bowl of spiked eggnog had already been seriously tasted, and Kelly was singing You Light Up My Life to Ryan, who looked like he was trying to find a way to hide inside the cheese crescent roll he was eating. Meredith was at her desk, a pitcher-sized jug of eggnog by her side, and Creed was walking around taking digital photos of everything. Angela was in the conference room with Hannah, while Stanley and Phyllis were still quietly working at their desks. Kevin met Jim at the door, trying to explain the story of the of dual Christmas parties.

When Jim found Karen and Pam, they were sitting in the break room drinking eggnog together. Karen looked up when Jim entered, and smiled. He sat down at their table, and as he did so Karen put her arm around Pam.

"Jim, I just have to tell you that this chick is the best. The absolute best. You should have heard her talking to Angela after that bitch kicked me off the party planning committee." Karen gave Pam a kiss on the cheek. Pam smiled slightly and looked at Jim.

"I can see you've been working the eggnog, Filippelli," he said. "Maybe you just need to relax for a bit now."

"I am relaxed," she protested, her arm still around Pam. "I'm just saying this girl is awesome!"

"I know she's awesome," Jim replied quietly. The look he gave Pam made it clear he was directing his response more to her than Karen.

Pam flushed slightly and stood up, feeling awkward. "Hey, I'll be back." She walked out of the break room without looking back.

Jim knew she was lying about coming back, and had already guessed where she was heading. She was probably going to go sit at her desk and hide herself away from the rest of the party. He wondered if he should go make sure if she was okay, but Karen started talking to him again and he had no excuse to immediately leave.

Soon Michael and Andy made their way back to break room, where the duo discovered the karaoke machine. Karen had been listening to Kelly talk, so Jim took his chance to go check on Pam. He didn't like the idea of her sitting alone, especially if part of her disappearance might have been due to him. He was surprised to not see her at her desk. He walked into the conference room - festive in its Nutcracker theme - but she wasn't in there, either. No luck in the kitchen finding her. He even peeked inside the women's rest room.

He was close to believing that she had just up and left, when the obvious hit him. He went back to the reception area, grabbed his coat and slipped into the stairwell, careful not to be seen by anyone. He took the stairs two at a time until he reached the roof entrance. She just had to be there. He pushed the door up and open and climbed onto the gravel and asphalt. He didn't immediately see her, so he waiting until his eyes readjusted to the dark sky. He hoped yet again that she was there.

He heard a sound and turned around. She was sitting on one of their chairs, but they'd been moved against one of the brick extensions to break the wind. He walked over to her and sat in his chair. He hadn't been up here like this in forever.

"Hey, you okay up here?" He asked, drawing his coat around him.

"Yeah," Pam replied quietly. "Just a little cold."

"Yeah," Jim agreed. He wanted to say so much more, but he had no idea how to begin. Want to hear about a crazy dream I had last night? didn't quite seem the best route. So he just looked out onto the holiday lights that were glowing all over the city, and up into the stars above.

"I have your Christmas present at home," she said, finally breaking the silence.

"You didn't have to get me anything, Pam," Jim said, feeling guilty that he had given up on getting her something days ago. He reminded himself that it wasn't too late to still do something.

"It's not much," Pam said. "It just felt weird not buying a present for you."

Jim nodded. "I know." He searched for the right words to say, with no success. "Lots of things are weird this year."

"She's very nice you know." Pam said.

"Who?"

"Your girlfriend, Karen."

Jim felt his heart practically stop. He didn't know what to say to her. He couldn't even tell what feelings had prompted her to say it. Was she happy for him? Jealous? Angry he hadn't told her? He felt helpless that he couldn't even seem to read her anymore.

"Yeah," he finally said. Nice job, idiot, he said to himself.

"She's doesn't quite seem your type, though," Pam said, her tone still frustratingly neutral.

"No?"

"No."

"So who is my type?" He held is breath for fear of her answer.

"Me," she said plainly.

"Pam," he said apprehensively.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to cause any problems between you two," she said softly. "But I decided that you need to know that I love you, and I have no intention of letting you out of my sight again. I'll be right here when you want me."

"Up here?" he asked, unable to hold back a joke. He thought if he didn't say something funny he'd cry.

She laughed. "Yeah, right here in this chair. Night and day. I'm even having the phones transferred up here."

They sat together in silence for a few minutes, then Pam stood up and began to walk away.

Jim stood up. "Pam, wait -"

She stopped and looked back.

He shook his head, confusion clearly written on his face. "I don't know what to say."

He could see her smiling sadly at him. "I hope someday you do."

He watched her disappear back downstairs, then he sat back down in his chair. He folded his arms across his knees and buried his head in his arms. And then he cried.

Jim didn't know how long he'd stayed up on the roof. It was even possible he'd fallen asleep at one point. But by the time he came back down into the office, he was feeling sore and frozen and completely beaten. Most people had already left. He wasn't at all surprised to find Pam gone. She probably had walked out immediately after coming down off the roof. He found Karen on the floor near her desk. Someone had draped Michael's new grey Dunder Mifflin bathrobe over her sleeping figure.

He felt responsible for Karen, and guilty that he'd all but ignored her tonight. He gently woke her up, gathered her stuff and got her back to her apartment. She drunkenly asked him to stay, but he insisted what she needed more was a good night's sleep. He tucked her in and headed back out to his car.

He headed home, Pam's words from the rooftop playing over and over in his head. He couldn't quite bring himself to believe what she'd said, but he could find no reason to doubt her. Despite how estranged they had been the past months, he still believed he knew her. She wouldn't have made that confession lightly.

He pulled into his driveway and turned the ignition off. He was about to go into his house when he thought about what awaited him in there: a cold, lonely bed and probably more crazy dreams. Something in him just snapped and he started his car again. He was tired of running. She'd handed him a lifeline, and he needed to know if she meant it.

He remembered the directions to her apartment from a drive he'd made shortly after moving back. It had been important that he knew where she lived, how far away he was from her. When he walked up to her door, he didn't see any lights on. He hesitated at her door. Either she was already asleep or she hadn't come home yet. He didn't see her car, but he wasn't sure where she would have parked, either.

He took a deep breath and knocked. There was no response, so he tried once more, this time knocking harder. He waited, and was about to walk away when he saw a light turn on. He heard steps approaching, and suddenly the door opened, and she was standing there. Dressed in her bathrobe, hair in disarray, Pam looked up at him as if she were sure she was dreaming.

"Jim?"

"I know what to say now," he said, "if you want to hear it."

She smiled. "Well, I'm not exactly dressed for it," she said. "But come on in."


End file.
